well then.......

image from this site made by this beautiful lady 

I had this wonderful, sad, hopeful, reassuring and all other kinds of words post in my head. But then something happened.

This necklace says it all ---- it's what I want for me and for each of you, for those I love, and for those who love me.

I really just want to live a happy life.

Four words.

Filled with so much potential.

Four words.

THANK GOD MY MAMA DIDN'T DO THIS......

I am the oldest child. The one in the middle is my sister, Tracey. (shhh... we can talk about her later) the one on the right is my mama. She's a character.

Smart. She sure is.

Funny. Got that covered.

Inspirational. That too.

Strong --- uh-huh. My daddy was killed in an accident when I was 15. she suddenly found herself on one income with two teenage girls.

I look sooooo much like her. At times I go by my reflection and I literally see her. Those moments are very eerie.

And --- Girls I am so sorry --- but at times my mouth opens and my mama comes out. Ok ladies --- you know you said it ---- "I will NEVER say that to my kids". Then you do and then you remember. And most of the time --- then you smile.

But the one thing about my MAMA I am celebrating today.

SHE DIDN'T KILL ME WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER.

and there were times that was a distinct possibility.



oooh --- I knew EVERYTHING. And, "Bless her Heart", in my world she had to be the dumbest, meanest, most difficult person there was.

Bear with me ---- she is none of those things.

I had a smart mouth, kinda still do. That was punished.

Forge my mama's name on a paper --- NO WAY --- got my butt whipped for that in the third grade. She made a believer outta me.

14 --- wanted to date a 23 year old. Mama --- lets just let that one go for now. I married him, we have two beautiful girls, and they are the very essence of my heart.

Ran out of gas one time. She rescued us, got a friend of hers to open the service station, and then made sure we went by there and filled up after that.

Oh I thought I was slick  but --- I cannot count the number of times I wanted to do something and she said NO. Every single time I went against her will, I got caught. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

Got home one night and she asked "just what happened between you and The Man at the Dairy Queen?" damn small town America --- and this was BEFORE cell phones. We had a little (loud) disagreement in the parking lot. Somebody reported it to my mama. Man --- that was some speech. About behaving in public. And how mortifying that phone call was.

Tried the whole "but so&so's mama said she could" ----- she didn't fall for that either.

It snowed one time and they did not cancel school --- the last words out of my mouth were "don't worry mama, I won't wreck your car". Twenty minutes later I'm on a strangers house phone, calling my mama, to get her to get someone to pull same car out of the ditch.

Did I say I had a smart mouth? Still kinda do. Well, that is still reprimanded.

Again --- today I am celebrating the fact that

MY MAMA DIDN'T KILL ME WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER.

Thank you Mama.

And besides ---- just look at how many really great and embarrassing stories you get to tell now.

Mama -- I love you.

I thought.......

When they were little, I thought I might never sleep again. I heard every change in breathing. Each time they turned over.

I did sleep again ---- but, oh my, these two ARE my very breathing.

I watch the car commercial of the little boy asking his dad all the "why" questions and I remember that I thought "WHY DO THEY HAVE TO ASK ALL THESE QUESTIONS?" And I answered them over and over and over.

One is a Chemistry grad student, the other an environmental science major. They are still asking questions ---- many of them way beyond my abilities to provide answers. 

Oh and the toddler years --- they climbed EVERYTHING. I thought I might climb the walls. They ran and danced and twirled and learned. They fell down and got back up. And I thought "how in the world am I going to keep up with them."

And one runs marathons and one is a college level softball player, and there is no way I can keep up with them, but I can cheer them on by my presence, with a text, a phone call. 

Oh the elementary school years --- bringing exposure to other kids and an introduction to independence that mama wasn't sure about at all. And I thought "I sure hope they learn to make good choices in people."

And one volunteers with special olympics and includes ALL kinds of wonderful people in her life and the other has chosen her eternal mate and together they include kids and wonderful adults in their circle of friends. 

Middle school --- wow --- and I thought that they thought that I was the meanest and dumbest mother in the the world. Because ---- well ---- because at sometime during the middle school years the aliens from the Raging Hormones planet abduct your sweet little girls and replace them with these "THINGS". They looked like my girls, but I thought quite often, there is NO WAY that is mine.

And occasionally - one would let me catch a glimpse of who they were struggling to become. And those glimpses --- well those glimpses gave me hope that we might just make it through these years. 

OOOH ---- sixteen, and I thought my heart may just stop on that first solo trip out of the driveway in the car.

And now one jokes about "road rage" and how stupid drivers bother her and the other one is driving home to see me as often as she can.

I thought there would always be shoes by the island in the dining room.

I thought the washing of uniforms would never end.

I thought that ........

I thought that ........

I thought that I would absolutely be bored to death if we had to watch these videos again

grandpa's magical toys part one

grandpa's magical toys part two

grandpa's magical toys part three

grandpa's magical toys part four

I WAS WRONG ----

And I am so glad that so many of these thoughts were never given a real voice.

I do sleep --- there are STILL questions ---- I cannot keep them safe ---- occasionally a bad decision will happen --- I still have worries when they drive out of the driveway --- I haven't tripped over any of their shoes (or backpacks or batbags) in years ---- and the aliens have returned them  ---- and I am more than likely a pretty average mom and not the meanest or the most stupid one on the planet ----

I am still glad that washing and trying to get red mud out of uniforms is a thing of the past.

Oh, and the videos --- I've been watching them and they are not at all boring.

See ---- in this video --- ABBY learned that the HOKEY POKEY IS WHAT IT"S ALL ABOUT.

They grew up --- I'm their mama --- I AM SO PROUD OF WHO THEY ARE

I LOVE YOU MOLLY AND ABBY ---- AND I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT JUST LIKE TO HEAR IT AGAIN. 

heart shines

Four months into my happy "DO" year, lots has been accomplished and much stash moving, organizing, using, and purging has occurred. 

There have also been mutterings and curse words and phrases like "damn --- where did all this crap come from?"

For instance --- the box shown below.

I have moved this box at least 50 times over the years. Tucking it in this drawer or that one. Or on this shelf or that. Shoving it to the side to fit in "one more thing". 

Well..... about two weeks ago, as I moved the dang box AGAIN, I decided that my DO year needed to include the word FINISH as well. The studio table was piled with the stuff I was putting away and sorting through, so I took this box in the house and decided to sit down and just make the ornaments in the kit. 

I dumped it all out and read the instructions........ yes I DID READ THEM and FOLLOWED them.

I pinned and pinned and pinned and pinned. 

Resulting in this. It really is very pretty. 

And it's a very generous size too. (see below) 

FYI --- although the directions for these do not include glue, I have found it to be valuable for these in the long run. I have several beaded ornaments from my mom and over time the pins can loosen and fall out and then you have gaps. To avoid this, I squeeze a dollop of glue on a scrap of paper and after I make my bead and sequin stack up, I touch the tip of the pin into the glue just before I pin it into the foam shape. Just a bit of extra security. 

Then - because Teresa is "MaggieGraceCreates" and  ---- because MaggieGraceCreates has a GINORMOUS stash of stuff and ------ because making two of them "just alike" would be incredibly boring, I pulled out some corded trim and proceeded to design my own ornament.

I glued some red and green trim diagonally across the ornament and then beaded between them.

Then a solid green top half and a solid red bottom. 

The result 

I think this one is pretty too. 

One of the pair is winging its way to a new home as we speak. 

I'll reveal which one, when the new owner lets me know it has arrived. 

Now --- would you have simply made them both alike and called it done or are you like me and would have taken off and tried your own artistic design? 

As for myself ---- I'm just glad I can add this finish to the DO year list and move the box one last time ----- to the recycling bin. 

It's a beautiful day. 

His eye is on the sparrow ---

image from here

She was beautiful ----

Ebony skin.
A tiny bit of a foreign accent when she spoke.
Bright white dress.
A young woman originally from the Ivory Coast and a part of the group who came to sing at my church.
Stepping to the front of the Sanctuary, she gently cupped her hands and began. A capella (without music).

The first few words to His Eye Is On The Sparrow, those beautiful words, send chills over me.

Suddenly - you could see that this was not a performance for her. Hands cupped, you could almost picture the tiny bird being held gently. An image of trust and worship in the words she sang. The young lady was worshiping God with her entire being.

It was one of those moments. Where chills run all over. And you know that what you feel truly is the presence of God.

It moved me. In ways I still don't have the words to express. Other than to say that the young lady opened herself to be the full on vessel for God to touch many people in the congregation.

Then something else happened.

I sit with David and Melissa most Sundays.( Melissa was one of the first I called when I found out I had cancer for the second time.) Wonderful friends who welcome this often alone "third wheel" to join them in the pew.

As the young lady sang, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw David reach in his pocket and hand Melissa a tissue. To my knowledge she didn't ask for it. He was simply aware of a very practical need for the tissue and provided it for her.

That moved me too. In a way that do I know how to express. That seemingly insignificant gesture was a huge display of his love for her.  Of being aware of her in a deep and wonderfully adoring way. In a way that says "I love you" and I am focused on making you my priority. I hoped she wasn't struggling with any specific problem that caused the tears. But I also know that if at all possible, David will be right there to handle the tears if needed.

That --  my friends was one of the most beautiful demonstrations of love I have witnessed. A tiny little action. Caught out of the corner of my eye.

My friends, I am so very happy for her. She is one of my best friends and I am want her to be cared for and loved like that here on earth.

Actually, I am very happy for me too. God allowed me to see beauty and love in that action. I saw the song demonstrated in a very real manner.

"His eye is on the sparrow
and I know he watches me"

Bet I shed tears the next time I hear it.

I SEE THRU A GLASS DARKLY

http://pinterest.com/pin/195132596327211778/

THIS IS STUNNINGLY GORGEOUS. 

When I saw this picture on Doni Hall's pinterest this morning, I immediately saw the following details ----- It's a dark night --- looking through old glass ---- see the canyon in the front. the trees up on the ridge to the right. The city lights off in the distance. Almost as if looking through a glass darkly. It fits me of late, I have spent hours looking out at the night. 

MaggieGrace goodies are happening. 

MaggieGrace is struggling on a very personal level. More to be said about that when the time is right. Please don't worry it's not a life threatening thing. Just heaviness. And fatigue associated with stresses affects me a lot. Those close to me know about it, but I refuse for that to interfere with loving life. 

MaggieGrace is working hard towards a goal she has had for many many years. 

I am leaning into the MaggieGrace alter ego part of Teresa as a sanity preservation role. 

The good thing is I have lots of MaggieGrace goodness to work with in the stash ---- 

I have several things finished and some things in process. 

I'll be doing a couple of shows in the fall and Christmas season. 

I'll be back next week - hopefully with some pretty pictures of MaggieGrace goodness.

Happy Do Year Garden Baby Blankie

Hey there everyone, I'm still here.

Softball Season is upon us and with that comes "travel" projects.

I also have a plethora of baby/toddler gifts to complete. 

So I gave myself a "stash challenge" 

Make 7 baby gifts with out a new purchase of materials. 

I've completed TWO. 

(Disclaimer - my sewing machine bit the dust. I bought it 23 years ago for 79.00 and she has sewn many a fine seam. But I need a sewing machine so I did have to purchase a new one. I am not calling that purchase a failure, because I HAD TO HAVE a new machine)

Any way ----- Portable project process for baby gift #2.

Idea happens --- 

Gather a pile of supplies from the stash. 

Supplies include - a 30inx40in hospital heavy flannel crib blanket.
a Length of fun floral cotton
Some single strand acrylic yarn. (aka TINY CRAP)
crochet hook size 1
Blanket binding
embroidery floss

Tuck it all in a bag and crochet

Green circular doileys -  5 of these. I big bag of assorted flowers. None of the flowers are bigger than a quarter.

After I crocheted all these little bitty bits, I began stitching them to the floral panel with embroidery floss. First the dark green background.

Then I started planting the flowers, randomly. I sewed and sewed.

After several ballgames and evenings, I had my little garden. My favorite flowers are the puffy red ones. giving the whole thing a bit more dimension.

Lots of little two and three-round flowers. In several colors that I liked with the fabric.

Here is a view stretched out across my lap the night I finished all the hand sewing.

There is even a tiny little creature on there. Actually - this little lady bug is my all-time favorite feature of the whole border. I created him right out of thin air. No Pattern available for what I wanted - so i fiddled around until i got him like I wanted.

A Picture for size comparison.

This lady bug is tiny.

Here is the finished blankie --- I sure hope its lugged around and used a lot by a certain baby girl who will be here soon.